The Walking Dead Awards: Walk it Off
Matt Walljasper and Myrydd WellsComments
Each week, we comb through the guts of The Walking Dead, much like a horde of hungry walkers, to bring you the episode’s best moments, surprises, and other post-apocalyptic curiosities. This week: Daryl fights a bag, Abraham fights a chain-link fence, and we fight boredom.
Season 6, Episode 6: “Always Accountable”
Best closure: That cry for “Help!” that must mean Glenn is . . . nope, not this week. Listen again (we did, several times)—that’s not Glenn’s voice on the radio. Even Norman Reedus says so. Sorry.
Biggest letdown: Last week’s episode might have been a bit boring, but at least it set up quite a few important plot points. This week’s installment, however, was downright confusing, partially devoted to characters we don’t care about and will never see again, and hardly advanced the plot. We’d watch an entire episode devoted to Enid and Carl’s love story before we’d watch this again.
Best surprise guest star: Some say he knows what stuff/things Rick is talking about and that he’s immune to bites, but only on his feet. All we know is he’s called the charred, zombified corpse of The Stig.
Suggested names for Sasha and Abraham’s pet walker: Walker Texas Ranger, Walker Flocka Flame, and Bitey
Best introduction: We met a new group of bad guys who seem to take supplies and instill fear into dissidents. That, coupled with vague references to “he” and “him,” point to recently cast Negan and the Saviors. Seems the Wolves might not be a reimagining of the Saviors after all. In retrospect, it makes sense: The Wolves pillage towns and destroy. The Saviors latch on as parasites and slowly bleed settlements by taking half their supplies.
Best Easter Egg: Did you notice the Cherokee rose on the back of the walker Daryl killed? It’s a nice Caryl reference, but you know what’s an even better Caryl reference? The two of them actually being reunited. Please.
Worst look-a-like: Daryl and Carl really seem to be rockin’ the same haircut lately. Careful, Daryl, as we mentioned last week, looking like that is bound to get you shot.
Quickest promotion: Looks like Abraham might have jumped a few ranks in the army with that new jacket.
Worst situational awareness: Getting bit by one random walker out in the open is one thing, but how dumb do you have to be to get bit by one pinned behind a car?
Worst medical advice: One does not simply “walk it off” after an amputation . . . just ask Hershel.
Best copyright infringement: They may be Rick’s three questions, but hearing Daryl use them brought a smile to our faces. Too bad he still needs some practice gauging the responses, though.
Best line: “You jump out of an airplane, you don’t have choices after that. Maybe you play some chicken with the ground, but you pull the rip cord, you live. But if you have a roof over your head, you have food, you have walls, you have choices. And without walkers and bullets and shit hitting the fan, you’re accountable for them. I mean, hell, you’re always accountable. It’s just with all that other noise, you know people won’t notice.” —Sasha to Abraham
Best kill: Daryl’s fumbling attempt to get his crossbow out of the bag before becoming a zombie snack had no style and had no grace, but it did lead to a great last-minute save against Groot that fungus-ridden walker.
Most disturbing image: Two walkers bursting out of their glass enclosures and biting Tina to death. We didn’t really care about her character, but still a sad way to go.
Episode MVP: Us, for sitting through this garbage heap of an episode.
Rick was absent from this week’s episode, so we can’t rank him officially on the calm/crazy scale. So instead we’ll ask: Just how dead are those people who stole Daryl’s bike and crossbow? The answer: Very.